It’s common to struggle with feelings of belonging when growing up- with or without measurable ‘markers’ such as age, gender, or locality. If you identify as LGBTQIA+ and you reside in an area that is conservative, remote, or traditional, self- acceptance tends to feel like a deeply alienating journey devoid of companionship. The truth is, what feels like the most emphatic journey is equally disheartening, so far as the hopes of purpose and acceptance are concerned. Acceptance is a theme woven into my heart; I attempt to highlight it in every aspect of my life and work, whether in the kitchen preparing meals for diabetics, or the intricate workings of my personality.
This belief I have led to the development of my book Fitting In that aims to document the unusual yet life affirming prospect of embracing oneself regardless of the tolling circumstances one is presented with. It certainly does not get easier being an LGBTQIA+ youth in an isolated community like a small town. Understanding one’s identity while feeling like a faux- stranger in a world where everyone else seems to have a notion of normality is undoubtedly unusual, but trust me- I have struggled to shake off this feeling myself.
Here is the truth: You are already perfect. Your identity and everything unique about you is powerful. The world will not understand you and try to make you feel less than. However, they neglect acceptance, including accepting yourself, and that is incredibly brave. It is your first step into finding your place in the world. You may have some challenges, but those are what makes you stronger. Alongside acceptance of yourself, hope also plays a part in Fitting In.
In my younger years, I often felt lost. There was no specific direction. But, over time, I came to terms with the fact that there is always light at the end of the tunnel, and the brightness is usually beyond your imagination. You might not see it at the moment, but hope is there and long as you are willing to take the first step. For me, challenges are best faced together. I’ve learned that you don’t have to deal with obstacles single handedly; there are other people who will gladly help you.
Whether it is joining support groups or finding friends who accept you, meeting people who understand your journey will help you change your perception towards life going forward. Accept your uniqueness. Stand up for your own honor. One should never allow anyone to make you feel that you are inadequate because you are enough. When you stop trying to fit into places, start being your true self, the world around you will be easier to navigate.
This is the guidance I would like to offer you: Wear your true identity like a badge of honor while walking confidently, free from the chains of fear that come from being judged, and remember that you don’t need validation to be deemed enough.